Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Hazards of the Morning Fog


As previously noted, I do not wake up quickly. I do like morning, but prefer to adsorb it very gradually. Otherwise it can be hardardous. When we were on "maneuvers", the Army's euphemism for plodding around in the mud of rural Louisiana, some military genius decided that wars are best fought while clean shaven. I was trying to prepare for the day's fake battle down by a creek. As usual at dawn, I was dreaming of other things when a Louisiana fly lit on my ear. In fast response without a pause for thought (as taught by the Army) I swiped at the fly with my razor. I think the fly escaped, but it was hard to tell with all the blood from my ear flying around. The medics did enjoy it with fun questions having to do with finding an Army manual on applying tourniquets to the ear. The irony of it was that I was too young to shave, having neither the skill nor the beard for the job.

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